He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish i was in the wii world.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
