its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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