wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
