Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i drank out of a bidet.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
