Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize