mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
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I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!