This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister