Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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(419): So i had sex for a couple seconds last night http://tfl.nu/eni0

Replies (20) Good night (706) Bad night (2474)
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(850): View more from Florida

I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

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(850): I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5 http://tfl.nu/td44

Replies (58) Good night (813) Bad night (4861)
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(904): View more from Florida

my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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(904): my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK. http://tfl.nu/twe7

Replies (96) Good night (7696) Bad night (1039)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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(202): im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please http://tfl.nu/aagw

Replies (29) Good night (4479) Bad night (1682)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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(973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc

Replies (17) Good night (1612) Bad night (4631)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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(504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp

Replies (9) Good night (2986) Bad night (945)
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(646): View more from New York

Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.

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(646): Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans. http://tfl.nu/r33v

Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (962)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for

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(540): Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for http://tfl.nu/c110

Replies (8) Good night (2266) Bad night (626)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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(732): Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help. http://tfl.nu/m3q1

Replies (6) Good night (2167) Bad night (813)
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(727): View more from Florida

The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.

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(727): The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands. http://tfl.nu/kwg7

Replies (5) Good night (1366) Bad night (654)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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(616): Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything? http://tfl.nu/t3z5

Replies (24) Good night (2778) Bad night (918)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.

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(603): I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/hfvn

Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (635)
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(406): View more from Montana

We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.

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(406): We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right. http://tfl.nu/ritk

Replies (5) Good night (2090) Bad night (420)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"

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(832): "Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??" http://tfl.nu/om7v

Replies (6) Good night (401) Bad night (205)
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(512): View more from Texas

I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.

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(512): I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/45g5

Replies (2) Good night (189) Bad night (343)

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