did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.