Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.

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  (817): Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3. http://tfl.nu/dq7j
  Replies (40) Good night (664) Bad night (5349)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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  (252): im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note http://tfl.nu/eb9t
  Replies (21) Good night (5805) Bad night (583)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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  (609): you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it http://tfl.nu/ioqt
  Replies (16) Good night (5962) Bad night (675)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

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  (856): unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating http://tfl.nu/8w72
  Replies (36) Good night (1532) Bad night (3679)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.

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  (215): just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break. http://tfl.nu/9me9
  Replies (17) Good night (4202) Bad night (846)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.

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  (601): Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate. http://tfl.nu/i871
  Replies (10) Good night (1118) Bad night (2782)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.

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  (318): I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people. http://tfl.nu/5dbr
  Replies (6) Good night (2661) Bad night (933)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.

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  (251): How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern. http://tfl.nu/mfwl
  Replies (17) Good night (2251) Bad night (804)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.

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  (403): You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything. http://tfl.nu/58f8
  Replies (1) Good night (1346) Bad night (391)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me

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  (443): She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me http://tfl.nu/42gf
  Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (574)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party

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  (802): We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party http://tfl.nu/otax
  Replies (1) Good night (858) Bad night (301)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Coming.

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  (318): I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this. (504): Coming. http://tfl.nu/0nn7
  Replies (8) Good night (1308) Bad night (387)
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  (626): View more from California

  It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass

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  (626): It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass http://tfl.nu/014k
  Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (546)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.

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  (210): Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline. http://tfl.nu/jwnb
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (231)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.

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  (919): Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes. http://tfl.nu/z2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (238)

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