I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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