there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
