Duck Duck Cougar?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
false alarm, still single
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