So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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