Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you had me at cake vodka
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
