No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I forget how to act sober
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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