You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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