I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
