Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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