Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
