I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My hand turned me down
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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