I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
