The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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