East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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