I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
