Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
