i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize