we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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