it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
