My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize