I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
