maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
