Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
