I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
