You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
