this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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