I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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