I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
