There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I enjoy the company of your penis
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
