I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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