if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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