im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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