the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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