I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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