Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
