We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
