I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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