If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
