I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The beer is more important than you right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
