I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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