More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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