Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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