we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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