Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
