it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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