Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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