I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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