I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
