he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Someone shattered a urinal.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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