Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
