Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize